The audio of this sermon is available on the Christ Church website.
I have a theory. As you get to know me over the years, you will learn that I have many theories, most of which are useless. Nevertheless, I have a theory that is relevant to our Gospel lesson today. My theory is that much of the stress we feel in our lives is the result of frustrated forgiveness. When was the last time you apologized to someone? What was their response? When was the last time someone apologized to you? What was your response? Did you say, “It’s ok”? Or “No problem”? Or “Don’t worry about it”? If so, you short-circuited the forgiveness process. If it really was ok, if there really was no problem, if it really was something not worth worrying about, then there would have been no need to offer an apology in the first place. Instead, things were not ok. There was a problem. Something was worth worrying about, and because of that, forgiveness needs to happen.
In a world that seems to be addicted to conflict, it feels ironic to say this, but on a personal level, most of us are so conflict averse that even when a wrong has been committed for which forgiveness is required, we refuse to recognize it; choosing instead to brush it off, as if it didn’t matter. Yet, it does matter. Researchers at Johns Hopkins tell us that a unforgiveness can be bad for our health. A lack of forgiveness leads to an increased risk for heart attacks, higher cholesterol levels and blood pressure, less sleep, and higher incidents of depression, anxiety, and stress. The research is clear, unless we “forgive deeply,” we can suffer ongoing health consequences. In order to forgive deeply, it can’t be offered begrudgingly, simply because Jesus told us to. According to Dr. Karen Shwartz, director of the Mood Disorders Adult Consultation Clinic at Johns Hopkins, our forgiveness must be an active, “conscious decision to let go of negative feelings whether the person deserves it or not.”
Jesus knew this reality two-thousand years ago. In the second half of Matthew eighteen, Jesus teaches his disciples all about forgiveness. He begins by teaching them how to handle sin in the community. When someone sins, don’t be afraid to name it. If they refuse to hear it, then take a few others to talk it out. If they still refuse to listen, bring it before the whole church. If even then they won’t repent and seek forgiveness, then Jesus says, “let such a one be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector.” Wouldn’t you know it, but Matthew is a tax collector, and Matthew’s church included many Gentiles. Even when the other won’t seek forgiveness, it appears we are called to forgive. Or, at least, that’s what Peter seems to have heard Jesus saying.
As our Gospel lesson begins, we find Peter seeking some clarification on this whole forgiveness thing. “Let’s get real for a minute, Jesus. How many times do I have to forgive someone when they sin against me? Would seven times be enough?” Peter thinks he’s really going out on a limb here. The Rabbis taught that God would forgive three times for the same sin. Since we are nowhere near as good as God at forgiveness, three times would have seemed next to impossible, but Peter’s been hanging out with Jesus for a while now. He knows that Jesus always goes a step further, so Peter doubles that number and adds one for good measure. Forgiving someone seven times is downright absurd, and yet Jesus responds by saying, “you aren’t even close.” Depending on how you translate the Greek, it could mean seventy-seven times, or, more likely, seventy times seven. Perhaps the best translation is the one Mark gave us last week, “forgive them for as long as it takes.”
There must have been a look in Peter’s eye that made Jesus realize that he didn’t quite get it. He went on to explain by way of a fairly straightforward parable. Well, it was certainly clear to Peter, but I wonder how clear all that talk of talents and denarii are to us today. This story hinges on a servant who is deeply indebted to a king. His debt was ten thousand talents. A talent was a unit of measure, weighing about 130 pounds and, in this case, refers to silver. A talent was roughly the equivalent of 15 years of wages for a common laborer. This man owed the king 150,000 years wages. In modern terms, if the average construction laborer in Bowling Green makes $30,000 a year, this servant owed the king 4.5 billion dollars. That’s a fairly insurmountable debt for man making thirty-grand a year. Yet, the king forgave him the debt, free and clear. Can you imagine the joy that slave must have felt in that moment? I’m eleven months away from being down to one car note, and I’m already pretty excited about it. There must have been tears and hugs and thanks flowing like a river as he left the king’s presence, but it didn’t last long.
The parable goes on to tell of the newly debt free slave seeing another servant who owed him a hundred denarii. A denarius was a single silver coin, nearly four thousand denarii made up a talent. It was worth about a day’s wage. Returning to our friendly average construction laborer in Bowling Green, he or she would make roughly $115 a day, so this debt, a hundred days’ worth of wages was about $11,500. This certainly isn’t a minor debt, but it is nothing compared to the $4.5 billion debt he had just been forgiven. Rather than sharing his joy with this fellow slave and forgiving his debt as well, the forgiven slave had him thrown in jail until he could pay it off. Obviously, the king didn’t take too kindly to his slave’s lack of forgiveness and the parable ends with him being tortured until he could pay the original debt. That is, he would be tortured forever. “So my heavenly Father will also do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother or sister from your heart.”
From this teaching, we learn a profound truth. Forgiving one another is a universal command for all who follow Jesus. At least every Sunday, and hopefully multiple times each day, you pray the prayer Jesus taught his disciples. In it, we pray “forgive us our sins as we forgive those who sin against us.” Our willingness to forgive one another flows directly out of the forgiveness we have received from God. As the Johns Hopkins study suggests, the necessity of forgiveness is hard wired into us. Whether the other deserves it or not, whether they ask for it or not, when we fail to forgive, it is bad for our health both physically and spiritually.
Let me pause for a moment and draw a distinction between forgiveness and reconciliation. Forgiveness is the conscious choice to let go of past hurts. Reconciliation is the return to right relationship. Forgiveness is a choice the offended can make without the offender. Reconciliation requires both sides to be present to the forgiveness process. Despite the universal Christian commandment to forgive, reconciliation is not always possible and in some cases, shouldn’t even be attempted. The Church has not always been good at this, and we should be ashamed of the result. Too many victims of abuse have been sent back to their abusers by clergy who have misunderstood what it means to forgive. Sometimes, treating another like a Gentile or a tax collector means forgiving them, even as we remain in broken relationship with them.
As followers of Jesus, we should forgive whether forgiveness is sought or not. When one who has sinned against us comes to offer an apology, we ought not short-circuit forgiveness by shrugging it off, but rather, we should do the challenging work of confronting the wrong directly by accepting the apology. We do so, not just because a lack of forgiveness is bad for our health, but because we have been forgiven so great a debt that the joy of forgiveness should overflow. So, forgive them their trespasses, their debts, and their sins, for in the Kingdom of God, forgiveness never ends. Amen.
 Healthy Connections, “Forgiveness: Your Health Depends on It” http://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/health/healthy_aging/healthy_connections/forgiveness-your-health-depends-on-it (accessed 9/16/2017).