As Jesus prepares for his final moments, he speaks a word to his disciples that I find really challenging.
“Where I am going, you cannot come.”
Why can’t we go? I mean, because I know what happens after Jesus’ last supper, I would probably choose not to go where he is going, but I really want that to be my choice. But isn’t that always the way with me. I want to be in control. I want people to depend on me. I want to chair the meeting and define the agenda. And, by God, I want to go with Jesus where is going.
I want to go with Jesus so I can see how it all works. I want to know specifically how the cross saves me. Secondarily, I want to know how the cross saves the rest of y’all as well. I want to see the harrowing of hell. I want to understand fully what happened in those “3 days” that Jesus body was dead, his human will was broken, and yet, his divine nature went about the work of salvation. I want to see how the resurrection happened and how the stone got rolled away. I want to understand fully how the resurrection from the dead overcomes death for us all.
Of course, I don’t really mean any of this. I don’t want to go through any of that awful stuff. I just want full knowledge. Which is precisely why I can’t go. I can’t know it all. God is mystery, wholly other, unknowable. My selfish desires make it impossible to go with Jesus on his salvific journey from table to pavement to cross to tomb to hell to garden to upper room to fish and grits breakfast on the shores of the Sea of Galilee to the ascension to the right hand of the Father.
Where he has gone, I cannot go.
Thanks be to God.